The Resilience Project - Failure is vital to our Success
It is in the face of adversity where you see the most personal growth. There were many take home messages from the The Resilience Project PD but this was what resonated most with me. As a teacher I have always known that adversity and challenges is where we see children make the most growth but it hasn't been until becoming a parent that I have realised how important this really is.
In a society where we spoon feed children from day one this message has never been more important. We talk about creating more resilient children but we are petrified to see them fail. Concerned they might hurt themselves, worried that they might be rejected or become upset. It's in our nature as parents, and as teachers to protect our kids, but what if this protection is actually causing them more harm in the long run? We want life to be easy for them but by eliminating all the failure, and all the challenges we take away their crucial learning moments. The moments where the most growth is made.
We need to change our thinking. Failure is not something that should be feared, but something that should be welcomed. If you follow me on Instagram you will know that I am pretty relaxed with Hunter. I truly believe he needs to experience failures and challenges from day one. Now I am not saying I am going to let him fend for himself but by creating a safe environment for him, he is able to explore and grow without me watching his every move. I would already describe him as a resilient and persistent boy. If he wants something, he has to get it himself. He crawls and climbs, and whilst it would be easier for me to hand him, I let him persist. He might fall over a few times, but he gets back up and tries again. When he succeeds the look on his face is priceless, he is so proud of himself. I wouldn’t want to take that away from him. The different failures and challenges change day to day, and I’ll be their to support him through them all but I’m not afraid to watch him fail before he succeeds.
I fail every day. I fail as a teacher. I fail as a parent, as a wife, as a friend. I choose not to view these failures as negative but rather as a learning tool. I can reflect on these moments, learn and grow from them so I am a little more equipped to deal with other issues in the future. I make mistakes every single day and my kids at school, and Hunter will know about it. If I hide them, what message am I sending them? That failure is not ok? That it is something to be ashamed about? I am not afraid of my mistakes, I am not embarrassed by my failures, they have made me who am and they are something to be proud of. Hunter will know that it is okay to fail as this is where we learn the most. Hopefully when Hunter’s older and when he does fail, when he feels like he’s made a huge mistake he’ll feel comfortable telling me about it, and once again I’ll be there to support him through it.